Senin, 19 Oktober 2020

My New Video

 Hi friends! Sekarang lagi heboh video ya. Jadi saya juga coba bikin youtube channel nih. Nama channelnya Piano Mom.  Kenapa namanya begitu?

Minggu, 20 September 2020

His Words Never Fail

 Mazmur 119: 66

Ajarkanlah kepadaku kebijaksanaan dan pengetahuan yang baik, sebab aku percaya kepada perintah-perintah-Mu.

It has been quite a long journey with my new family. Unlike any other moms who can pour out their hearts through social media, I can't. It's for privacy reason, safety reason. But surely being a wife, a mom, a daughter, I feel that I'm being pulled to many sides. Can I survive? My quick answer: NO.

During this quarantine, I find myself to stay at home ALL the time. And I am back to my old me (is it a right thing.. or a wrong thing?). I want to play piano. I want to do music stuffs. I miss being in a music group where I can understand the joke. I miss being stunned by what I hear... the rhythm pumping in my heart.. the harmony that I'm amazed at.. 

But no no, I have obligations. Taking care of my family. I need to serve and please everyone in the house. Not serving the family members well is a new sin now. I'm never enough to serve them. 

What should I do? I find myself waking up at 3 AM in the morning. I open up my Bible. Psalm 119 is there to be read. What came to my mind was: "This is the longest verse of Psalm as far as I can remember. What is it about? I don't remember. Let's read it."

Mazmur 119: 26 Jalan-jalan hidupku telah aku ceritakan dan Engkau menjawab aku - ajarkanlah ketetapan-ketetapan-Mu kepadaku. 

It's so true. It's almost every hour I'm thinking about my family.. What should I do to help my kids, my husband, my mom? I feel God answers me.. though slowly.. but answers are coming. But yes, I want to hear His voice more often, more clearly.

Mazmur 119: 28 Jiwaku menangis karena duka hati, teguhkanlah aku sesuai dengan firman-Mu. 

Yes yes.. never being enough is such a strong feeling and I don't know how to cope with that. But reading this Psalm has already made me being understood. It seems that I'm not the only one, and God understands.

Mazmur 119: 45 Aku hendak hidup dalam kelegaan, sebab aku mencari titah-titah-Mu.

Mazmur 119: 59 Aku memikirkan jalan-jalan hidupku, dan melangkahkan kakiku menuju peringatan-peringatan-Mu.

These two verses are confirming what happens to me now.. I'm thinking about my life.. and I'm sort of confuse about what to do.. and I find myself not adequate. Then, this morning I just come to God since I am clueless.

Mazmur 119: 66 Ajarkanlah kepadaku kebijaksanaan dan pengetahuan yang baik, sebab aku percaya kepada perintah-perintah-Mu.

Many things to learn as a wife, a mom, and a daughter. Many things I don't know, I don't understand. Oh Lord, please teach me, teach me.. I need Your wisdom, I need Your understanding.. Give me the knowledge that I need to serve my family. 

Mazmur 119: 73 Tangan-Mu telah menjadikan aku dan membentuk aku, berilah aku pengertian. supaya aku dapat belajar perintah-perintah-Mu.

So, here I am. Can't just run away and leave everything behind. So God, You created me. Please help me to understand You, to understand Your plan to my family.

Mazmur 119: 92-93 sekiranya Taurat-Mu tidak menjadi kegemaranku, maka aku telah binasa dalam sengsaraku. Untuk selama-lamanyaaku tidak melupakan titah-titah-Mu, sebaba dengan itu Engkau menghidupkan aku.

So true. If it's not because of reading these verses now, I don't think I can go back to sleep now. I feel lighter, I feel hope once again. 

Good morning, friends. I'm going back to sleep. Thank You, Lord Jesus for Your Words.

Never fail. :)