I Wanna Speak

Lately, I really feel the need of speaking. Speaking about my thoughts, my feelings, my plans, my dreams, my hopes, my desires... And I feel that I can't speak of those things cos I have a new life now. Having been married for almost two months is truly doing a significant change in my life. I must try building my own family.

In the past, when I stayed together with my mom, honestly, I seldom talked to her. Mostly because she worked from 9 a.m (and this was the time I usually woke up) - 6 p.m. And I started to work from 4.30-7.30 p.m. So, I had my free time from 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Although I didn't talk to her, I found something else to do to keep me excited and energized. What did I do during those times?

2009-2011

I read the Bible, books, n started blogging. I found that I could 'speak' through blogging. Other people would read (or 'hear') my writing (or 'speaking') and they might reply to it. They responded to me. I felt I didn't live here by myself. They agreed or disagreed with me. I love it.

2011-2012

I taught at St. Nicholas school and I didn't have enough time to blog.

2012-2013

I prepared my wedding and started living in the love nest. (Okay, maybe I must not call it a 'nest' since there is a very limited internet connection in a nest. :P Maybe I should call it  'love hotspot'?? :P So, I can connect to the internet easily. Hahaha..  well, anyway, I'm hopin to have a better internet connection.) 

Since I don't have anybody to talk to in the nest, I started to feel... yeah... a lil bit lonely. 

One night I tried to read my Bible again and read the story of David. I loved it. I felt that the Lord comforted me as He had comforted David. 

The other night, I tried to watch Glee to kill the time.

Another day, I cleaned the nest. 

Another another day, I had the interest of writing my letters to the Lord, but I still couldn't find my sweet spot. 

Another another another day, I just sighed... 

I just feel... I want to speak.. 

And finally, NOW I speak. 

Or maybe I need to find another work, so I'll be busy and don't think about it anymore. 

I am okay for I know there is someone who I can call every time I want to speak. It's Jesus. I always call His name and tell Him how I'm doing. I think I need to re-read the Bible again and write more letters to Him.

Psalm 23:1-4 (NIV)

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right path for his name’s sake. 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.